


A Familiar Face

by SkyWasMadeofAmethyst



Category: Good Game (TV 2017)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, First Date
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-06-30 13:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15752754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyWasMadeofAmethyst/pseuds/SkyWasMadeofAmethyst
Summary: Ash insisted that this Alex guy was a nice guy. That was exactly what you needed; a nice stress free date with a nice guy. Much to your surprise it turns out that Alex is a familiar face from your past. You never thought you'd see Alex Taylor again. Alex had almost forgotten about the shy cute girl from his hometown. Now that your back in each other's lives you might never want to be apart again.





	1. Chapter 1

You leaned back against the sofa allowing the dry bitter taste of red wine to spill down your throat. This was just what you’d needed; a good bottle of wine with a good friend…..well, even if that good friend had already downed most of the bottle of wine all on her own.

Despite the fact that Ash was sucking down the booze, this was at least proving to be somewhat of a comfort to you.

It had been a long time since you’d had a girls night with Ash, her being busy with this whole Killcore team thing she was doing. Tonight, she’d been able to pull herself away at least. You recovering from a bad breakup was a good enough of an excuse to get drunk with your best friend she’d insisted.

You could admit you’d been a bit stunned by this statement. You had at times feared that perhaps Ash and you weren’t as close as you’d hoped.

To be honest sometimes you felt like a bit of a burden to her.

You were so different from her after all. You were a bit more introverted; a bit more reserved. You honestly felt boring compared to Ash.

Ash was confident and witty and she had a badass job…. well she’d had a badass job up until a few months ago when she’d been canned…which had lead to this whole Killcore thing.

Still though, you’d appreciated Ash’s friendship despite your differences in personality.

You knew you were whining as you allowed yourself to pour the last of the bottle into your glass, Ash not missing a chance to open another bottle. “I don’t know…maybe I need to just be single for a while. Love has been a giant ass to me lately….I might be better off alone…maybe for a while at least…or ya know forever.”

Ash gave your shoulder a nudge as she refilled her own glass before topping off yours. “Maybe you just need to try something fun…ya know something pressure free with a nice guy.”

You couldn’t stop the snort from leaving your lips your eyes rolling your tongue sharpening as the booze set in. “Yeah right, find a nice guy….you are aware that nice guys don’t exist right? You have a better chance discovering a unicorn than actually finding a nice guy who’s able to think with something other than his dick.”

“Maybe I know a guy who’s pretty nice.” Ash blurted out an idea suddenly forming in the back of her own boozy brain.

You cringed already getting the feeling that you weren’t going to like the next words that left Ash’s lips.

You were proven correct as Ash spoke again giving you another nudge. “So, don’t shoot me…but I might have an idea.”

“I don’t think I’m going to enjoy this idea.” You groaned your brow furrowing as you sunk down a bit further into the sofa.

Ash shook her head not letting your pessimism ruin her plan. “Hush and hear me out.”

She spoke again once she was sure that you were quiet, for now. “So, you know that Killcore thing I’ve been doing?”

“Yeah….that gaming competition thing….the MEMBA game.”

Ash rolled her eyes quick to correct you. “MOBA.”

She didn’t give you the chance to respond as she spoke again. “Anyway, I seriously just think you need a nice pressure free date with a guy who you know isn’t going to act like a total ass. You need someone genuine who you know isn’t going to treat you like garbage. I think I have the perfect guy for you to go out with….no pressure, no expectations.”

You furrowed your brow at this suggestion. Ash had told you a little bit about this Killcore thing, about the team she’d joined. To be honest they seemed a little odd for you…like a team of misfits.

Who were you to judge though? You didn’t exactly fit in with anyone.

You swallowed the lump developing in the back of your throat as you spoke up. “I don’t know…I mean, I’m still kinda feeling raw after everything that happened with Owen…I mean I can understand why things fell apart with him….”

Ash shook her head not letting you talk yourself out of moving on from your ex. She was quick to interrupt you before you had the chance to keep speaking. “Don’t let Owen fuck with your head. The guy was a jerk. That entire relationship fell apart because he was a cheating jackass that couldn’t keep it in his pants. You didn’t ruin anything.”

You sighed sinking into the sofa more. You knew she was right.

Ash took a deep breath shoving back her own frustration. She spoke again taking a bit swig from her own glass. “Anyway, his name is Alex. He’s a sweet guy….I mean I will admit that he’s a little bit of a mess…kind of stoned most of the time…and I’m not really sure what he does…I mean aside from coach our Killcore team….but he seems pretty nice….He’s so cheerful that we all kind of want to punch him sometimes….So like I said he’s a little strange….but I’m not saying you have to marry the guy. Just go out on a few dates with him, have fun…It doesn’t even have to be more than one date…I’ll set it all up. You can grab a bite to eat and just hang out…nothing too crazy. Trust me Alex is not the type to expect anything out of you at the end of the night. He’s a good guy. It’s a good chance to get back on the saddle with this whole dating thing. Like I said, a nice guy and a nice no pressure date. It’s a great plan.”

You took a sip of wine as you let Ash’s suggestion roll around in your brain. You were tempted to ask if she had a pic of this Alex guy. After all wasn’t everyone on social media nowadays. He was bound to have a twitter at the very least.

You held back the desire to ask for more information though. Maybe it was best to just not think about any of this. Maybe you just needed to go into this blind.

Ash was always telling you that you thought too much for your own good. You were neurotic.

You took a gulp of wine deciding to just go with it. “Fine, set it up…I don’t like this, but I guess you’re right…It’s not like I have to marry him.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Alex cleared his throat as he attempted to fluff the mess of curls atop his head.

He furrowed his brow as he studied his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He’d taken the steps to at least attempt to make himself put half put together for tonight.

He’d showered, put product in his hair that didn’t seem to make it look like an even bigger frizzier mess, he’d shaved, and he’d even put on a little cologne to cover up any hint of pot lingering on him.

When Ash had approached him with this entire “date” idea, Alex had been fast to say yes.

It wasn’t everyday he got the chance to go out on a date…with anyone….

Most girls didn’t pay any attention to an all too tall all too thin stoner who crashed on his roommates pull out couch and coached an E Sports team in his spare time….in between the job Alex didn’t have.

Most girls lost interest pretty quickly. The ones that stuck around weren’t all that nice. Girls especially weren’t all that nice once they realized how broke he actually was.

Alex shook his head not wanting to focus on the negatives. He tried to shut out the negative parts of his brain; the ones that were always screaming how disappointed he was in how his life had turned out. The voices that screamed that he was a failure.

Nope, he had to stay positive.

Besides things were looking up lately. The E Sports team was doing great…despite a few, well a lot of minor hiccups along the way.

Everything was going to be okay. Things were finally looking up for Alex Taylor.

He straightened out the blue button down shirt he’d chosen to wear Ash having insisted looked great on him.

He had briefly wondered if perhaps he should put more effort into his outfit, but Ash had already promised that she’d chosen a laid-back chain restaurant for tonight’s meal, a place Alex could afford.

Ash had insisted that her friend wasn’t going to be expecting too much; Alex was just supposed to show her a nice time.

She was going through a horrible break up and she just needed someone to show her a nice time. She was sweet Ash had insisted. She was a nice girl and she needed someone like Alex.

Alex knew that if he wasn’t high as a kite right now he might be feeling a little more freaked out about this all. Ash seemed to think he was the perfect guy to show you a nice time, it was a lot of pressure.

Thankfully the bong hits Alex had taken an hour ago had relaxed him.

He felt a little less relaxed when he exited the bathroom to find that Ash had apparently arrived in the time he’d spent in the bathroom getting himself ready.

She stood up from the sofa giving him a small smile her eyes studying him. “You look great.”

Ryland was quick to speak below his breath as he took a sip of beer the man not exactly feeling confident about this entire date idea. He had a feeling it would be a disaster. “Just don’t tell her you sleep on a pull-out sofa.”

Ash was fast to speak not paying Ryland any mind. She had grown a bit accustomed to the man’s pessimism. She had to admit, Ryland was kind of cute in a mopey sort of way. “You’re going to have a great time. [Y/N] is a sweetheart trust me. I know you two are going to get along great.”

Alex spoke up finally working up the nerve to broach the subject. “Do you have a pic of her?…so I at least know who I’m looking for once I get in there.”

Ash was fast to pull out her iPhone opening up her social media and pulling up a pic. “See she’s cute right?”

Alex leaned closer to the phone his brow furrowing. There was something familiar about the girl on the screen.

He pushed this thought from his head already knowing he shouldn’t trust this instinct. He was a bit intoxicated. There was no need to focus on any inkling of familiarity not when his head felt this hazy.

He had to admit despite the feeling of familiarity he felt when he looked at Ash’s friend, that she was cute. She was the perfect combination of cute and hot; pretty eyes, a cute pleasant figure. Her hair was surprisingly curly; almost as curly as Alex’s. She looked a little hippish fashion wise. She was all the things he liked in a girl.

She would probably never look twice at him outside of this whole blind date thing.

Alex silenced this thought refusing to let any negativity invade his brain and smother his optimism.

He gave Ash a small smile nodding his head. “She looks great. You’re right. I know we’ll have a good time.”

He took a deep breath ignoring Ryland mumbling under his breath. “Just don’t hit the bar.”

Here went nothing.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

You could admit you were feeling anxious about tonight.

It had been a long time since you’d gone on a date. A few years at least.

You were relieved to see that Ash had picked a pretty laid-back place.

It was a small family owned restaurant that seemed relatively clean. The menu was filled with pub foods; burgers, chicken strips, fries, nachos, and sandwiches. There was enough of a variety to appeal to anyone. There wasn’t anything pricey on the menu. The food smelled decent and looked edible from what you’d spotted on other customers tables.

You had chosen a casual outfit that at least looked like you were trying to put some effort into it. The soft pink sundress you’d decided to wear brought out the pink tone of your lips. The black sandals and kimono jacket you’d chosen to wear brought a bit of your personal style into the outfit.

You had left your hair alone allowing the curls to do their own thing. You’d long ago learned that there was no controlling your long unpredictable dark curls.

The selfie you’d sent Ash’s way was met with enthusiasm. You looked adorable she’d insisted. The dress showed off your assets. The compliments had been nice. This wasn’t a dress you wore often. You usually covered up a bit more; kept things a bit more sedated.

Your breakup with Owen had made you want to step outside your comfort zone though.

Everything was going to be just fine you reminded yourself for the millionth time.

There was no reason to freak out. So why were you freaking out?

You closed your eyes for a spilt second focusing on your breathing.

This was just fine; everything was just fine.

This Alex guy wasn’t a jerk. This wasn’t a horrible idea.

You were fine. Owen was wrong; you weren’t a mess.

You cringed at the memory of your now ex-boyfriend. Owen had been great at first, but then his criticisms of you had started.

He called you cold; frigid and stand offish. He pointed out your dead-end job as a receptionist at a dental office, how it was going nowhere. He told you that you were foolish trying to make your jewelry making side business go anywhere. You couldn’t make a living selling bohemian jewelry. He pointed out the way your hips had widened over these past few years despite your attempts to slim back down. He complained that you were so neurotic; so busy being a downer, so caught up in the past.

He didn’t understand that it was sometimes so hard to really express yourself. You had always had a hard time getting along; relaxing enough to enjoy life as it came at you.

You were high strung and too negative at times. You tried so hard to lighten up, but it wasn’t easy, especially when your boyfriend always seemed to focus on what was wrong with you.

When you’d walked in on Owen with another woman he’d had the nerve to act like his infidelity was your fault. “What did you expect [Y/N]? You bring me down all the time. Being around you is depressing. You can’t blame me for wanting someone who doesn’t always sound so damn miserable.”

You took a shaky breath refusing to replay the entire scene in your head. It had ended with lots of screaming and maybe even you throwing a vase at his head.

It was all over now, no reason to obsess over it.

You opened your eyes peering down at your iPhone frowning a bit as you shoved it back into your purse. This Alex guy was late.

That wasn’t a bad sign though. Traffic was crazy. He would show up. This wasn’t a bad sign.

You were beginning to regret not asking Ash to show you a pic of this Alex guy. What was he like? What did he even look like? You were regretting walking into this all blind. You were never this risky, maybe it was the wine? If you’d been sober you would have never agreed to stepping out of your comfort zone like this.

You pushed this thought from your head closing your eyes again. This was going to be okay. Everything would be okay.

Your eyes peeled wide open as a voice sounded out above you. “[Y/N]?”

You peered up at the owner of this voice your eyes growing wide familiarity seeping into your mind. It had been a while…but it was really him. It was actually him, wasn’t it?

It had been years but he looked the same. He was still so tall, so thin. His hair was longer now but it was still just as curly as it had always been.

“Alexander Taylor?….Alex?”

Alex furrowed his brow as he studied you the clouds clearing up a bit in his mind as memories flowed through him. “[Y/F/N] [Y/L/N]?”

You felt your stomach drop the words falling out of you. “It’s been….well, years.”

Alex cleared his throat his cheeks flushing wondering how he didn’t realize it until now. He would blame all the pot and other substances he’d taken into his body over the years, but perhaps he’d just been trying to block out any memories of you, memories of his childhood.

It had been so long, but you still looked the same….well a little older, but still just as pretty.

“I haven’t seen you since….”

You spoke interrupting him finishing the statement. “Since my brother’s graduation….well your graduation too.”

Alex cleared his throat nodding his head trying to hide back any shame. He held back the desire to admit that he hadn’t been invited back home since that night, since he’d announced that he didn’t plan on going to college, that he wanted to forge his own path.

“Yeah it’s been a while.” He replied sitting down across from you pulling the messenger bag from his body his hands shaking a bit as it hit him just how long it had been.

He’d almost forgotten about you; about the shy girl with curls almost as wild as his.

You’d been a few years younger than him, a few grades behind him at the private school you’d both attended back east. You were the younger sister of a friend. In fact, your families had known one another for a long while. Still though you had never been terribly close. Mostly you’d seen each other at school and social events where both of your families were in attendance.

Though Alex had hung around your older brother more than you, Alex could admit that a tiny part of him had always found you sort of cute. You seemed sweet, quiet, but sweet.

He’d liked your wild curls and your laugh. He liked how he could occasionally hear Pink Floyd playing through the headphones you sometimes wore at those social events at the country club.

You seemed different, you seemed like him. To be honest he’d always regretted never trying to get to know you better. As he’d grown older it had hit him that you probably would have gotten along well had he ever made a move to actually get to know you.

You managed to speak your anxiety about the night lifting slightly as it hit you that you were with a familiar face, albeit a face you hadn’t seen in a long time. “I kind of assumed you’d be off being a big famous Rockstar by now. Are you still singing?”

Alex felt a small bittersweet smile cross his lips. He tried to pretend that the comment didn’t sting. “Yeah, that didn’t turn out so well….I mean we released a couple of little independent albums and we tried to tour…but I think I was kind of the only one into it after a little while….The rest of the band kind of lost the passion…They got burnt out. It all sort of fell apart….I’ve kind of stopped the whole singing thing…Life just happened ya know?”

You cringed at this fast to change the subject not helping but to hate the pained expression in his eyes when he explained this.

You spoke again trying to smooth it over. “Oh…I’m sorry….I haven’t seen you back in Jersey in a while…I mean, over the holidays you know. I saw your brothers the last time I went home for the holidays. I almost asked about you but I didn’t have the chance.”

Alex cleared his throat fast to explain. “I haven’t been back home in a while….my dad wasn’t really into the whole music thing. I’ve kind of been faltering through things for a while…So yeah, I’m kind of banned from family events. My dad kind of got sick of me asking for money…I guess really he just sort of got tired of me always screwing up so much. So yeah, haven’t been home in a while….The last time I went home it kind of ended in a mess.”

You felt your heart sink at this. You had known Harris Taylor wasn’t an easy man to get along with. Your father had been friends with him for a long while. Your families had known one another for a while. The the New Jersey town Alex and you were from wasn’t the largest. It was a well to do area where the wealthy knew one another.

It wasn’t always the most healthy environment self-esteem wise if you weren’t an overachiever who planned on becoming a doctor or a lawyer.

You had never really had the nerve to ask anyone about whatever had happened to Alex to be honest. The Alex you had remembered had been quite different from the rest of the Taylor family.

To be truthful you hadn’t exactly fit in with your family either. You couldn’t imagine being banned from family events though. While your own family might not see eye to eye with you, they’d never banned you from their home.

Your heart ached for Alex. He was a sweet guy from what you’d remembered. He didn’t deserve to be cast out the way he had been.

You needed to change the subject. You were making a giant fool of yourself. You needed to yank your foot out of your mouth fast.

You were fast to speak up a small anxious laugh leaving your lips. “I’m really fucking this up…I’m sorry.”

Alex let the laugh leave his lips the comment lightening this mood. “You’re fine. I’m kind of a fuck up so.”

You began to twist the ring your wore around your right index finger the words spilling from your lips. “You can’t be that bad…I mean, Ash wouldn’t have set me up with you if you were a bad guy…I mean you might have some problems…but everyone has problems. If people try to say they’re perfect then they’re lying.”

Alex couldn’t deny the warm fuzzy feeling that washed over him at your statement. He felt a genuine smile cross his lips as he took you and your words in. You were everything he could ever want. You really were gorgeous inside and out.

He remembered the little detail Ash had given him about why you needed a nice date. How could your ex ever have let you go?

Alex never wanted to let you go.

The smile on his lips only grew as you spoke again. “Do you want a drink? I’m buying.”

……

Alex felt the laugh leave his lips as you popped a jalapeno popper into your mouth chewing slowly your brow furrowing as you took in the story he had just told you. “These Lucid Nightmare people sound like assholes.”

“Yeah, they’re kind of the worst. We’re going to beat them though. I can feel it. We have a great team.” Alex insisted downing the last of his cocktail.

You felt your cheeks flush as the words slid out of your lips. “With a coach like you I’m sure you will be great.”

Alex felt his own cheeks flush as he took in your words.

You were so cute, how were you so cute?

You spoke up running a hand through your hair the fluffy curls not flattening the slightest. “I mean, I don’t know much about video games….other than like old school Nintendo, I mean Ash has tried to show me…but I’m still kind of lost. I think you’re going to do great. Ash is a great player. So.”

Alex couldn’t stop himself from speaking the thought spilling out of him. “I don’t know much about it either….My roommate…Ryland has tried to show me a little at least…..So you’re in the same boat as me…..Do you maybe want to come to the next match though?…I mean, ya know come see us in action.”

“I won’t be in the way?” You dared to ask the flush in your cheeks still too apparent. You had to hope it wasn’t as noticeable as you feared.

“No, you could never be in the way…We could maybe hang out afterwards…I mean if you want…we could grab a drink…just us.” Alex dared to ask feeling his own cheeks grow pink.

He couldn’t help but to love the way your eyes brightened up when he had given you this offer. He liked seeing you look so happy. He wanted to keep making you happy, if you’d let him.

“I would really like that.” You admitted. It sounded fun, besides you had to admit you wouldn’t mind seeing more of Alex.

The warm fuzzy feeling faded from your heart as an all too familiar voice sounded out beside you. “[Y/N]?”

Alex watched your face grow pale as you stared up at the man standing beside you. The words left your lips you looking as though you wanted to disappear and melt into the floorboards. “Owen.”

Owen stared down at Alex a small look of disapproval crossing his features. He stared back at you Alex watching the entire exchange a harsh glare washing over him. “Are you on a date?…with this guy?”

Alex jumped into action before you had a chance to look even more miserable. Alex slid a hand across the table sliding his hand over yours giving it a squeeze. “Actually, we are on a date right now.”

The soft warm touch of Alex’s hand helped you snap out of wanting to hide away from Owen. You spoke confirming it all. “We are.”

Owen’s face soured he sending Alex another look of disapproval before staring back at you. “Do you think we can talk…alone.”

Alex tightened his grip on your hand an insecure part of his brain fearing that you were about to walk away from him. He yanked out his wallet with his other hand yanking out some cash wanting to pay and get you far away from Owen.

He was relieved that you seemed to be on the same page you fast to speak. “I can’t. We’re leaving.”

You both stood to leave Alex keeping a tight grip on your hand. Owen moved in front of you making another attempt. “Please, just a minute babe. I just, I really miss you.”

You made your choice moving closer to Alex your arm encircling his thin waist as you both stepped around Owen. “I don’t think so. I don’t have a minute for you. Alex and I have plans.”

Alex was unable to stop himself from sending Owen a triumphant smug smile as you both walked far away from your ex.

It wasn’t until you made it to the parking lot that you took action doing exactly what your heart was screeching at you to do pulling Alex down by his shirt collar your lips locking over his.

Alex kissed back with just as much passion once the shock of the kiss passed. He wrapped his arms around you holding you close to him all thoughts of your ex fading from both your minds. You pressed a hand to his cheek your tongue peeking out coaxing his lips open your tongue sliding along his a soft little pleased noise spilling from you.

You parted from one another Alex speaking his voice soft. “Wow.”

You felt your cheeks flush a tiny insecure part of you kicking in through the little flash of confidence you’d felt. You stared up at Alex part of you fearing that you’d made a mistake, maybe you’d moved too quick.

Alex spotted the fear in your eyes everything in him screaming at him to fix it.

You didn’t have time to dwell on it as Alex spoke again. “Let’s get out of here…We have plans right?”

You chuckled at this nodding your head in agreement. “We do.”

Alex smiled his hand locking over yours you giving his hand a squeeze. He wouldn’t mind having plans with you for the rest of his life, if you’d let him.


	2. All He Needs

The simple fact was that you were falling in love with Alex Taylor. This bit of information had hit your brain like a brick to the head. How could you be so crazy about him so damn quick?

There was just something about him. It wasn’t just that he was a familiar face to look to. It wasn’t just that he was a person from your past who you knew would be safe to lean on during a time of heartache. There was something more to it than that.

You knew it had all started at the very first date.

Alex had been so sweet on that first date Ash had set up for you. After the whole incident with Owen, Alex had taken you to a nearby diner to eat some dinner, given the fact that your meal had been interrupted. It had felt so natural sitting with him eating greasy burgers and fries and talking about everything and anything that popped into your brain. Alex so eagerly hung on to your every word and you’d found yourself hanging on his every word.

You’d both taken separate cars to that date but he’d still insisted on following you home just so he could walk you to your door. It wasn’t a proper date if he didn’t drop you off at your doorstep at the end of the night, Alex had insisted.

You’d found yourself sharing another kiss as he dropped you off at your doorstep, this one much more chaste than your first kiss, but still so breathtaking and amazing all the same.

As you’d shut your front door behind you that night, you’d found yourself leaning against the door resisting the urge to open the door and ask Alex to stay the night. You weren’t quite ready to go that far just yet.

You’d been unable to deny what your heart was telling you though. Your heart knew that you wanted to keep Alex in your life. Your heart knew that you could so easily find yourself falling in love with him.

This realization didn’t frighten you the way you thought it might.

After all, if you’d felt this way this soon about anyone other than Alex, you might assume you’d finally lost your mind.

You had always been the careful type; the one who didn’t let yourself get carried away. You were protective of your heart. You’d watched your parents remain unhappily married for so long just for the sake of making one another miserable. Your father was prone to affairs and your mother was prone to turning the other cheek and turning to booze and pills and affairs of her own to cope.

The lifestyles of the wealthy and miserable; you’d always called it when you talked about your childhood.

You’d fallen into shitty relationship after shitty relationship as the years had gone on. You had a tendency to attract all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons.

You had tried to hold your heart close to your chest. You had done it to protect yourself, but it usually backfired on you. People assumed you were heartless or just too socially awkward to function. You’d never let yourself trust anyone too much. You’d never allowed yourself to express just how you felt.

There was something always there in the back of your brain that stopped you from falling too hard, something that always forced you to hold back.

Owen had called you frigid. You knew in a way, he’d been right.

It was easier to be cold and distant than to let yourself trust too much in someone who would just hurt you.

Owen had fooled you into thinking that you could trust him. He’d been so charming at first, so quick to tell you that you had nothing to worry about. He’d been so fast to turn on you though. As time had gone on Owen had never hesitated to hurt you.

You could still remember Owen’s most common phrases: “I’m not like the other guys babe. Of course, you can trust me” “I love you. How could you say I don’t love you? I don’t know why you have to be such a bitch sometimes.” “You’re being paranoid” “Of course I’m not cheating on you.” “I only cheated on you that one time, but can you blame me. You’re so cold. I was lonely. What did you expect to happen when you’re so closed off from me?” “It’s the last time I cheat, I swear.” “Stop checking my phone. So, you don’t trust me anymore? You’re such a bitch. You’re so overbearing. I’m going out.”

One would think that your experiences with Owen would have turned you off of love forever, but here you were allowing your heart to melt over Alex Taylor.

When you looked at it on paper, Alex should be terrible for you. Pursuing anything with him should be a horrible idea.

Alex had a difficult time holding down a job, aside from the whole Esports coaching gig he’d fallen into. He’d worked minimum wage jobs at coffee shops and record shops for years. He never lasted at one place too long. Right now, he was technically unemployed aside from coaching the Esports team. He was usually broke, aside from the occasional check his mother sneakily sent him without his dad knowing.

Some people might assume his constant state of low employment, his lack of any real savings, and his habit of being late on rent was an indicator that he was lazy and unmotivated.

He slept on a pull-out couch in Ryland’s and his living room. He seemed content living there in a state of messiness and disorder. He said that he had no desire to get his own place. He didn’t want to live alone. He didn’t do so well when he was all alone.

He could be forgetful and ditzy, though you knew this was more of a side effect of the pot he seemingly partook in at every single presentable opportunity.

Then there was the drinking. He drank quite a bit, though he had at least mentioned that he was trying to cut back. Still though, he could drink a lot. He could drink to the point of vomiting and blacking out. The employees at the bar he hung out in seemed to know him by name. You’d heard the barkeep mention that Alex was their only usual patron. No one else stuck around for the shitty cheap drinks other than Alex.

It wasn’t as though Alex was an angry drunk at least, nor was he a violent or a mean drunk. If anything, it just made him light and happy. He became sentimental and tended to get over emotional when he drank.

Still though, it was a problem. That much alcohol couldn’t be good for him. You worried about him, more than you wanted to admit. You worried he was going to go too far; give himself alcohol poisoning or choke on his own vomit because he was knocked out and unable to even be aware, he was puking. Those little incidents killed people all the time. It wasn’t just all the little things that could happen to him because of his drinking that worried you. It was the reason behind his drinking that made you uneasy. It was obvious he was self-medicating with all the booze and the drugs.

Alex had issues, lots of issues; anxiety, depression, trauma from his childhood, disappointment over a failed music career, and a distinct fear of abandonment.

These things about Alex should all be giant bright red flags.

If you were a smart woman you might have taken one look at Alex’s life and run far far away before he brought you down with him.

Your heart overpowered your brain when it came to Alex though. Logically you knew he was a giant mess, but your heart could only see the positives when it came to Alex.

Your heart saw his sweetness, his compassion, his eagerness to show you affection, his desire to treat you so wonderfully, his enthusiasm, his optimism, his determination to do this entire crazy Esports coaching thing.

Your heart told you to focus on the wonderful things about Alex. Your heart told you that you could overlook the flaws in Alex. You should accept him for who he was; all of him, even the parts of him that weren’t so wonderful.

You understood exactly why Alex was the way he was after all. You understood him well. He had a rough time growing up. His family just didn’t understand him. He was treated like a scapegoat for years. They’d been so happy to cast him aside the second he’d decided to follow his own path. Life hadn’t been kind to him since he’d been on his own. Even though he didn’t like to talk too much about it, it was clear he’d been treated so callously by life.

Alex was just too sweet for this world; his heart was just too big. He trusted too damn easily. It wasn’t his fault that the people in his life had fucked him over in so many ways. The only mistake he’d made was trying to follow his dreams and placing his trust in people when they didn’t deserve it.

He’d been raised by utter assholes who had abandoned him instead of loving and accepting him when he’d shared his dreams with them. He’d been abandoned by his band their dreams dying while Alex’s dream of rock stardom still shone bright until it’d been extinguished. He’d been abandoned and mistreated by so many people over the years since he’d left New Jersey for the bright shiny lights of California.

How could you just be another person who abandoned him? You couldn’t do that to him. You didn’t want to do that to him.

Alex should be heartless after the way the people in his life had treated him. He should be a pissed off drunk who hurt anyone that dared to get too close. He should close himself off to the world like you tended to do. Instead of going that route though he’d chosen to be kind. He’d chosen to let his big heart lead the way. He’d chosen to be the good person he truly was.

Alex’s heart was so soft; so gentle and kind. He’d been so wonderful to you. How could you deny that your heart adored him? You couldn’t force yourself to run away just because your brain knew that Alex wasn’t perfect? He was perfect enough for you.

The past five weeks you’d spent by Alex’s side had been so wonderful. You spent every waking free moment you had with one another.

Alex had recently taken to sleeping at your place neither of you wanting to part even for sleep.

The experience had been beautiful. You felt secure with Alex, you felt adored.

You knew that you were moving so fast, committing so quick, but you weren’t afraid. You trusted Alex.

He was a piece of your past after all. It wasn’t like he was some stranger. Your pasts were intertwined with one another. You understood exactly where the other came from. It had made bonding with one another so easy.

You’d been a little surprised when Alex had invited you to spend the weekend at his place. He’d been crashing your place so far after all. He had commented that your bed was so soft, so much more comfortable than the sofa. So, the invite to stay at his place was a little surprising.

You’d seen the apartment he shared with Ryland before, but you’d never stayed the night. Usually you wound up back at your place. Alex had seemed embarrassed to have you sleep on the pull-out couch he slept on at night.

He’d seemed kind of embarrassed to show you the apartment at all to be totally honest.

The apartment was a mess, though you weren’t shocked to see that. It was cluttered and filled with nerdy collectibles and worn out thrift store purchased furniture. There was a bong that Alex hadn’t even bothered to hide, some fast food wrappers, empty cans and bottles, plenty of gaming consoles and gear, lots of cassettes and records, a drum kit Alex had bought but never learned to play, and a sink filled with dirty dishes.

It looked like most apartments that were inhabited by two single guys.

Alex had mentioned that he’d tried to clean up the place for you, but you’d hate to see what it had looked like before Alex’s cleaning.

You’d overlooked the mess though knowing that you were happy to spend time with Alex. He trusted you enough to invite you over so you weren’t going to judge.

The pull-out couch was far more comfortable than you’d assumed it would be. You’d slept well the night before.

You’d shown up the night before after work with a few bags of groceries already knowing your boyfriend and his roommate wouldn’t have anything you could possibly cook for dinner or breakfast even.

They lived off of fast food, junk food, take out, beer, and convenience store purchases.

Alex had seemed so excited when you’d offered to make dinner the night before and then again when you’d offered to make breakfast this morning. He’d done his best to help you cook, though you’d had to move him away from chopping any veggies. You’d been almost sure he’d lose a finger the way he was brandishing the knife.

Ryland hadn’t joined you for dinner. He’d mumbled some excuse about having plans with Ash before leaving the apartment. You’d been a little worried, almost assuming that he didn’t like you. Alex had brushed off your worries though. It was just how Ryland was Alex had claimed. He could be pretty grumpy.

You’d managed not to focus too much on Ryland’s opinion of you deciding to instead dedicate yourself to tidying up the kitchen area a little. You’d started with clearing off space on the dining room table to actually eat a meal and finding some clean dishes to eat on. You’d straightened up the counter space enough allowing you the room to actually cook. You’d even found yourself cleaning all the dishes in the sink with a little help from Alex. The kitchen wasn’t spotless, but it looked a little better.

You were tempted to clean the entire place from top to bottom, but you had the slightest feeling Ryland wouldn’t approve. He already seemed wary enough of you as it was. You were pretty sure cleaning his place when you hadn’t been invited to do so wouldn’t thrill him.

Alex had so happily eaten the spaghetti you’d made for dinner. He’d had two servings and had filled you with compliments about the meal.

It was nice to hear. He was so genuine about his enjoyment of your cooking.

Owen had always hated your cooking after all. It felt good to see someone genuinely enjoy something you cooked.

The compliments Alex had given you over dinner were so different from what you were accustomed to hearing from Owen when it came to your cooking.

Alex had spoken between mouths full of noodles and garlic bread a sincere smile along his lips. “It’s so good…it’s great.” “It’s been so long since I’ve had something other than leftover pizza or cold hot dogs for dinner.” “I love the sauce.” “You’d make this again if I asked, right?”

You’d reassured him that yes you would be happy to make it again for him. You’d even managed to place the remainder of the pasta in the only Tupperware you could locate ensuring that at the very least Ryland would have something to eat later.

Even if he didn’t seem to like you…maybe you could win him over with food.

Ryland hadn’t seemed too thrilled to see that you were still here, sleeping on the pull-out couch curled up against Alex, when Ryland had come out of his bedroom this morning.

You’d managed to ignore Ryland’s somewhat sarcastic comment about the fact seemed to have made yourself at home, choosing instead make breakfast Alex remaining unaware of the tension you felt hanging in the air.

You hadn’t had too much time to focus on it all considering the remainder of the Esports team had shown up for practice.

That was how you found yourself sitting on the sofa a crochet needle in hand doing your best to concentrate on the scarf you’d decided to make for Alex, as you allowed the noise of the team playing Killcore…and bickering….as Alex attempted to coach them, to fade off into the background.

You were a little astounded that Alex actually seemed to take to playing coach so naturally. He was actually kind of good at it, aside from his unwavering optimism and desire to keep everyone happy.

Though you weren’t sure how much playing the game required having a coach, but Alex at the very least seemed happy with what he was doing.

You kept your attention on the crochet only looking away from it as Alex occasionally passed by pressing a kiss to your temple.

You’d bought the yellow yarn to create the scarf; yellow was Alex’s favorite color after all. So, you bought some nice fluffy bright yellow wool that you knew Alex would love. You planned to crochet the words: Esports Coach, into the scarf. You knew it wasn’t cold enough for Alex to probably ever wear it, not in California, but still you knew he’d love the gesture.

Your attention pulled away from your work as you heard Sam let out a groan everyone seeming annoyed as their match ended. “Seriously, Lorenzo, you died again.”

“It’s just so difficult…I couldn’t tell what was going on my screen. It’s just so chaotic. I’ll do better next time.” Lorenzo was quick to apologize.

You could distinctly hear Ryland mumble a comment under his breath at this. “You said that the last five times.”

Alex was fast to speak up before anyone had a chance to start bickering. “Alright! Maybe it’s time we take a quick lunch break. Ryland and I’ll go grab some Chinese.”

“Why not just order it to be delivered?” Ryland replied causing Ash to speak before Alex had a chance to respond.

“It’s fine with me. We need the break.”

You put away your crochet not helping but to sink into the kiss as Alex leaned over the sofa his lips meeting yours the affectionate moment thankfully not being tainted by any smart comments from Kamal.

You’d had the unpleasant experience of already being subjected to a few comments from the teenager, mostly insults you didn’t quite understand. To be honest you weren’t quite sure Kamal even understood his own insults. He just seemed to enjoy spitting out the most disgusting comments he could think of up the top of his head. He was pretty good at hitting nerves, but still it was obnoxious all the same. According to Ash the kid was a pain in the ass, but he was too good of a player to kick to the curb.

You’d realized the best course of action would be to just ignore Kamal. He was annoying and foul mouthed, but it wasn’t worth it to confront him over it.

To be honest you felt a little uncertain about all the entire team. Ash was just Ash of course. You knew her. She was familiar. She didn’t make you uneasy the same way the rest of the team managed to do.

Lorenzo who seemed to be the financial backing to the group as well as Ryland and Alex’s landlord. Though Lorenzo wasn’t good at the game at all and he seemed more than a little clueless about most things. He had that same naivety that you’d seen in some of your older coworkers at the dental office. It was what happened when you stopped hanging out with anyone younger than you. You lost touch with pop culture. Sam seemed….intense. She reminded you of your younger brother Jeffrey. He was an athlete as well; they both had that same competitive spirit. That competitive personality trait had always made you feel anxious. That was probably why you didn’t really get along with Jeffery. Ryland seemed mopey most of the time, and of course there was that simple fact that he didn’t seem overly fond of you. You couldn’t find it in you to judge him too harshly though.

You knew Ryland had taken Alex in when Alex had no other place to go. Alex’s old roommates had kicked him out of the apartment they’d been sharing and out of the band Alex himself had started. Alex had nowhere else to go.

He’d been sleeping in his car when Ryland had found him. He’d been sleeping in the parking lot of the coffee shop Ryland and Alex had both been working at about seven years ago. 

Ryland had felt bad for Alex and had offered him a place on his couch until Alex got back on his feet. Alex had just never gotten back on his feet. 

You weren’t quite sure if you would ever feel comfortable around Ryland or the rest of the team, but you were willing to try. They seemed to mean a lot to Alex. You wanted to try to get along with these people of Alex’s sake.

Alex managed to speak as he reluctantly pulled away from the kiss. “Be back soon, anything special I can bring back for you?”

You couldn’t stop the words from sliding from your lips not hesitating but to make a sweet little flirty comment. “Just you.”

Alex couldn’t stop the blissful look from appearing on his face as he took in your words. His lips met yours once again though he reluctantly pulled away as Kamal made a gagging noise.

Ryland rolled his eyes quick to speak before Kamal had a chance to make a crude comment. “Let’s go. You can make out with her when we get back.”

“Ugh, please don’t encourage them.” Kamal grumbled picking up his iPhone and staring down at it ignoring the glare Alex sent his way.

Alex did manage to sneak one more little kiss to your lips before Ryland shoved the car keys at him before practically dragging him reluctantly from your side.

You were almost ready to turn back to your crochet when Ash approached you a small nervous smile crossing her lips. “Can we talk…in private?”

You ignored the way your stomach churned at this question, choosing not to focus on it too hard as you stood up from the sofa following Ash towards the back of the apartment.

You tried not to frown as it hit you that you were going into the only place where you could find some privacy; Ryland’s bedroom.

It was cleaner than you expected, but still it wasn’t an ideal place to hang out for you. You tried not to pay any mind to the pile of dirty laundry on the floor that had seemed to miss the overfilled laundry basket. The bed was unmade though the sheets at least looked relatively clean. Still though you felt a little awkward being in the bedroom of a guy who you weren’t sure was too fond of you.

You spoke hoping that you could put a quick end to whatever this “private” talk was supposed to about. “What’s up?”

Ash gnawed at the inside of her cheek hesitant to even get into this. She’d noticed just how close Alex and you had gotten over the past five weeks. Alex didn’t shut up about you after all.

At first, she’d been relieved; you seemed happy after all. It was nice to see you so happy after being miserable with Owen for so long.

It was just that things seemed to moving so quickly. You were jumping right into this thing with Alex feet first without even taking a second to think about how all the ways it could fall apart.

This was kind of out of character for you. Ash had always viewed you as being so careful; so overly cautious. This entire relationship with Alex seemed to lack any of that caution Ash was so used to seeing from you.

Ryland was worried. He’d confided in Ash about the entire situation the night before when he’d shown up at her place rolling his eyes grumbling something about Alex and you being too mushy to stand. At first Ash had wanted to be offended. After all Ryland was acting as though you were some kind of heartless wench who was going to destroy Alex.

Yes Alex and you were a little overly affectionate, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It was annoying, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. 

It wasn’t until Ryland had explained himself though that Ash had seen his point.

Alex tended to hand his heart over to all the wrong girls. He was so desperate for love; so desperate to be accepted by anyone.

He was love starved. You were just getting out of relationship and were still feeling fragile. Alex and you together seemed like a dangerous combination that was destined to crash and burn. Ryland had warned Ash that when it crashed and burned it would cause more harm than good.

Ash had wanted to ignore Ryland’s concerns. You and Alex were adults after all. You didn’t need anyone criticizing your romantic lives. Still though Ryland’s concerns had planted a seed in Ash’s brain.

She couldn’t just ignore it. She had to say something. She was just trying to look out for your best interests.

Ash took a deep breath deciding to be upfront with you. “You’ve been hanging out with Alex a lot.”

You raised an eyebrow a little shocked that Ash seemed to want to discuss this. After all wasn’t she the one who had suggested you go out with Alex to begin with? “Yeah, I mean…he’s familiar you know. There’s a past between us.”

“You grew up together right?” Ash asked still a little astounded that Alex and you had even known one another.

She’d been pretty floored when you’d explained it all to her. She’d known Alex and you were both from a small town in New Jersey, but she hadn’t thought to put the pieces together. She hadn’t realized you were from the exact same hometown. She hadn’t expected you to have this connection.

“Sort of, I mean…Alex is a little older than me. He’s my older brother’s age…so he was more my older brother’s Micheal’s friend than anything…our families are close though. So, we kind of had no choice but to hang out when we were kids…same country club and shit. Our dad’s worked at the same law firm…they’re partners in the firm, so we saw a lot of each other growing up. It’s not a huge town…it’s a pretty wealthy suburb. Not a lot to do or see. We lost touch after Alex left for California..I was just a teenager then, so. I mean, we weren’t as close as I wish we’d been, but it’s been easy to reconnect now that we’re adults.” You explained feeling awkward to explain any of the details of Alex’s and your past with one another.

You never felt quite comfortable speaking about your lawyer father and your socialite mother, or your nice childhood home, or the fancy private school you’d grown up attending, and you especially felt weird mentioning the country club your father was a member of.

Ash furrowed her brow taking this all in. “Huh, Alex never mentioned that…I mean I don’t think he’s told Ryland a lot about his past…other than the fact that his parent’s cut off his trust fund a long time ago and his dad doesn’t return his calls.”

You let out a small sigh resisting the urge to go into a full blown rant on the subject of Harris Taylor. You weren’t the biggest fan of Alex’s father. You’d never really felt comfortable around the guy.

Harris was…domineering, a real harsh disciplinarian who ruled his household with an iron fist. No one did anything without his approval. He believed in order, hard work, personal discipline, and sensible choices that would aid in one’s future. The guy was a real hardass.

He could be intense. He expected a lot out of his family. In Harris’ opinion his sons should be carbon copies of himself; disciplined hard working future lawyers. 

He’d never quite understood Alex; and he’d never allowed Alex to be himself. Alex wasn’t anything like his brothers. Alex was a dreamer; a real creative. His family didn’t understand the value in creativity.

So Alex had been treated like an outsider in his own family. Harris had never let Alex forget that he didn’t belong. He’d never once told Alex he was proud of him.

You knew that was the one thing Alex wanted to hear more than anything on this planet; that his father was proud of him, proud of the choices he’d made, proud of Alex even though Alex hadn’t followed the path his father had expected him to take.

Sadly you knew this would probably never happen. Alex’s father would never accept him for who he was. Harris would never treat Alex like he wasn’t a fuck up.

He’d cut off Alex’s trust fund; thinking that cutting off the cash flow would force Alex to give up and come home. He had assumed that when Alex was left to fend for himself financially then Alex would just give up his rock and roll dreams and start to live the life Harris expected him to live. He thought cutting Alex off the money would force Alex to behave how he thought he should. It hadn’t worked.

Alex’s mother Cynthia sent money to Alex still; little checks here and there behind Harris’ back. In your opinion that wasn’t good enough.

You didn’t get it; Cynthia wouldn’t stand up to Harris. She refused to stand up for her own child. Alex might be different from his family, but he was still Cynthia’s baby.

You didn’t understand how she could allow everyone to turn their backs on Alex. Family was supposed to take care of one another despite their differences.

You cleared your throat holding back spilling this all out to Ash. Alex didn’t like to talk about his family. He wouldn’t want you talking about it behind his back. “Things are tense between Alex and his family. It’s not something he’s comfortable talking about.”

Ash nodded her head tempted to pry. Knowing about Alex’s past might explain just why he was the way he was. She resisted the urge to do so though deciding to get back to the task at hand instead. “Right…so…you guys are official now I’m guessing?”

You cleared your throat staring down at the dirty laundry your mind getting lost. Alex and you hadn’t really discussed it, but it kind of seemed as though it went without having to say it out loud. Alex had pretty much shown you that this was serious; that you and he were an item.

You spoke deciding to just be honest about it. “We are.”

Ash decided to just come out with it. “You guys are moving pretty fast, aren’t you? I mean…he’s been spending the night at your place….you spend every single possible second you have together. Now you’re already cleaning his place and cooking him dinner.”

You felt your defenses pull up at Ash’s words. She wasn’t serious, was she? She was the one who had been so eager for you to move on from Owen. She had a problem with this now?

You tried to shrug off the comment with some humor. “Trust me, if you’d seen that kitchen last night you would have cleaned it too.”

Ash shook her head ignoring the voice in the back of her brain that told her to drop it. “I’m serious [Y/N]. Alex and you are moving really fast…I mean you’ve just got out of a relationship and…”

She didn’t have time to continue as you interrupted her shaking your head a scoff leaving your lips. “And I was miserable with Owen. You said it yourself, he treated me like garbage. Alex doesn’t treat me like crap. Excuse me for appreciating that someone treats me well.”

Ash sighed trying her best to reason with you, trying to get you to see things from her point of view. “Don’t you think that’s part of why you’re so eager to move so fast with Alex though? I mean you spent a couple of years dating a guy who treated you like crap. You’ve found someone who’s so desperate for love and acceptance that he’s going to cling to you and bend over backwards to please you. Ryland brought it up with me…how Alex has a history of handing his heart to all the wrong people. He’s so eager to find love. You’re fragile right now, and maybe…maybe Alex is enough of a distraction for you from that pain. He’s kind and you aren’t used to that…maybe you’re clinging to Alex because it feels safe for you right now.”

You were fast to speak not helping but to send a scowl Ash’s direction the woman having the sense enough to look guilty as it hit her just how her words had sounded to you. The scowl only deepened as it hit you that this explained Ryland’s clear disdain for you. “I’m not using Alex to soothe heartbreak. He’s not some rebound that I’m going to drop the second I’m feeling a little better about myself. I’m not that much of a bitch.”

“I didn’t say that…”Ash began to say, but you spoke quick to interrupt her.

“No, but you implied it.” You snapped.

You took a deep breath pausing for a moment to regain control of your temper. You didn’t want to let things get out of hand. You weren’t in the mood to fight with what was probably your only friend in the world.

You spoke staring back up at Ash trying your best to stay calm as you spoke your case. “I know it’s moving fast, but it feels so right. Alex is…I know he’s kind of a mess. He’s got a lot wrong with him, but he’s also got a lot right with him too. I know that doesn’t make any sense at all…but just trust me okay. He’s been good to me. I feel like we understand each other. I’ve never had that with someone before. He’s a piece of my past, but there’s more to it than that. I’m not clinging to him just because he’s a safe choice for me. I’m with him because I enjoy spending time with him. He makes me laugh, he makes me feel loved. I’m happy with Alex. I’m happy with the pace we’re moving. I’ll admit that it does look like we’re moving way too fast, but I couldn’t imagine doing it any other way.”

You paused relieved that Ash hadn’t interrupted you at least. You took a deep breath deciding to just come out and say it all. “I mean, we might just be in like the honeymoon phase of our relationship or puppy love or whatever, but all I know is that it feels good, it feels like it’s meant to be…I mean what are the chances you set me up on a date with someone who is a part of my past? It’s almost like its fate. I know that probably sounds stupid…it’s only been five weeks, but it’s not like Alex and I are strangers who just met five weeks ago. There’s a history there. I think there is a future there for us too. I want to see if there is. I’m falling for him…I’m pretty much already there.”

You paused again clearing your throat. “Just be happy for me. Please, even if Ryland and you think this is some gigantic mistake, just pretend that you’re happy for us.”

Ash took a deep breath wanting to argue with you. She didn’t see how this could turn out well…maybe she was wrong though. Maybe you had a point?

She decided to put her pride and her uncertainty of your relationship aside. She’d been pushing you to move past Owen, this wasn’t quite what she had in mind, but you were an adult. You could make your own choices.

“Okay, you’re right…I’m sorry.”

You took a deep breath your throat growing tight as you ignored the anxiety swirling around in your gut. “I need some fresh air.”

Ash let out a heavy sigh as he watched you leave the room. Crap, she’d made a real ass out of herself. She made a mental note to keep her opinions about this to herself from now on.

She had a feeling if she pushed again then you’d drop her from your life without any hesitation.

She wasn’t ready to lose you as a friend.

She only hoped Ryland managed not to make a mess of things on his end.

……………………………………………………………….

Ryland adjusted his seatbelt as it locked down taking a quick glance into the backseat relieved to see that the sharp turn Alex had taken didn’t cause all the take out to spill out into the floorboard.

He shifted in place Alex happily humming along to the radio oblivious to his own shitty driving.

Ryland decided to speak now or forever hold his peace. They weren’t far from their place. He wouldn’t have a chance to bring this up again, not when it was just Alex and him. “So…about [Y/N].”

Alex couldn’t stop the dreamy smile from crossing his features the sound of your name alone making his heart flutter. “Yeah, isn’t she great? She is so soft and she smells so good. She’s so nice and she takes such good care of me. She’s so pretty and sweet. She’s the best.”

Ryland let out a sight recognizing that dreamy smile. Alex had the same smile on his face the night he’d come home from that first date with you.

Alex had come home from that date and leaned back against the front door a smile across his features his voice sounding out loud and clear as Ryland glanced up at him. “I’m in love.”

Ryland had just rolled his eyes at this comment. He was pretty sure he’d heard Alex say that exact same thing about a few girls before.

None of those girls had made it past the first couple of dates though. Alex and you had been on plenty of dates now and you were still here though. It had been weeks now and it was clear that things between Alex and you were only growing stronger.

Ryland knew he should be happy for Alex, and he was. Everyone deserved to find someone nice. Alex needed someone to look out for him. A relationship with you meant Alex was one step closer to maybe getting off of Ryland’s couch, or at the very least maybe growing up just a little bit.

He had noticed that Alex had cut back on the drinking, not by much, but by a noticeable amount.

It was a good development, but Ryland had to wonder how long it would last.

He would hate to see just how far Alex would crash and burn if things didn’t work out.

He’d witnessed mopey post breakup Alex before. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

Ryland had been there more than once to watch Alex sob into his beer and his bong over some girl who he’d let himself get way too attached to way too fast. It wasn’t a fun experience. It was pretty pathetic to watch. 

Ryland might complain about Alex, but he still cared about the man. Alex was really the only friend Ryland had who actually stuck around. He didn’t let Ryland shove him away. He wasn’t afraid to call Ryland out on his bullshit.

Ryland hated seeing the guy get hurt. 

Alex tended to pour his heart and soul into relationships. He got carried away and became too clingy. It scared girls off. Alex always got his heart shattered in the end.

Alex was oblivious to Ryland’s worries though the man speaking again the smile still on his lips. “She’s such a good cook too. She put some of that spaghetti from last night in the fridge. You gotta try it. I ate so much last night. I don’t think I’ve had a meal like that in so long.”

“That’s…that’s great buddy.” Ryland replied debating rather he should come out and say it or not.

He’d never been great with conflict.

He took a deep breath forcing himself to say the words. “So…you two are moving pretty quick…I mean, you’ve spent a lot of time together.”

Alex nodded his head not picking up on Ryland’s tone. “Yeah we have been. It’s been wonderful. We have such a great time together. I love her place. She has the softest bed. It feels so right. I think she’s my other half. I can picture a future with her.”

Ryland let out a soft sigh shaking his head at this comment. He knew he sounded harsh but he couldn’t stop himself from speaking his mind. “How do you know though? I mean…it’s only been five weeks man. You’re getting kind of carried away. What kind of future are you two going to have? Sleeping on my pull-out couch forever…she’s going to want someone who can take care of her man.”

Alex frowned shaking his head at this comment. He felt a wave of insecurity swirl around in his gut at Ryland’s statement. He knew he sounded defensive as he spoke. “I can take care of her.”

He took a deep breath amazed that he hadn’t lost his temper. It was tempting to snap at Ryland, but he held it in. Now wasn’t the time to let any negativity invade his mind. “It’s not like I just met her five weeks ago…I’ve known her longer than that…I’ve practically known her my entire life, we just lost touch. That’s not going to happen again though. I want to keep her in my life. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her in my life.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.” Ryland remarked Alex’s grip on the steering wheel tightening.

The older man didn’t let the comment get to him too much. He took a deep breath shoving it off. He had to keep positive. He liked to keep things positive. “I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.”

Ryland shook his head knowing that he should shut up before he made a mess out of things but he found himself speaking anyway. “I mean that I’ve seen you do this song and dance before Alex. You get overly attached to some girl only to have her crush you.”

“That’s not going to happen this time around. [Y/N], she’s not like any of those girls. Things are different this time around. She’s a piece of my past.” Alex tried to explain cringing at the memory of his past attempts at relationships.

He didn’t have a great track record when it came to picking out girlfriends or almost girlfriends.

Alex spoke again fast to shut Ryland down before the man had a chance to say another word. “She’s part of who I am…of where I came from…for the longest time I didn’t like thinking about where I came from, but [Y/N] she makes my past not seem so shitty to think about…the memories I have of her are good ones. I want to make more good memories with her.”

Ryland let out a sigh guilt filling his gut. Alex did seem so sure of this. It just seemed so sudden though. He spoke making a last ditch effort. “Just be careful, okay? You guys are moving fast, and that has a real possibility of crashing and burning. I don’t want to see you get hurt. I mean…you’re late on rent and the whole you crashing on my couch thing was supposed to be temporary…but you’re still my friend. You’re probably my only friend. Just don’t rush into anything that you’ll regret.”

“I love you too Ry…I’m not going to regret this though. I’m happy. I feel happy for the first time in a really long time…This is something good for me. Just be happy for me.” Alex pleaded his jaw tightening he trying not to get too emotional about this.

He understood where Ryland was coming from, but Alex knew what he was doing.

He knew he got carried away when it came to things like this, but he was telling the truth. He felt good; he felt more than just happy. He felt content with his life for the first time in a while.

He just wanted Ryland to be happy for him.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

You were still surprised to find just how easily you sank into the pull-out sofa. Alex had been sure to place clean sheets over the sofa and the cushiest pillows he could find for you to rest your heads on.

You had changed into your pjs before you had curled up beside him underneath the comforter his long limbs tangling with your shorter limbs. You laid rested close to Alex the comforter pulled tight around your bodies.

Alex allowed his hand to slide underneath your baggy t-shirt his hand rubbing soft soothing circles against your back. You let yourself get lost in the sound of his heartbeat your head pressed to his chest.

You laid in silence for a long while the sound of Ryland snoring somewhere far off behind the closed door of his bedroom, neither Alex or you able to rest.

The tension had been hanging in the air all night, but you’d managed to ignore it for the most part. That was part of the problem though, you were ignoring it.

Alex spoke his voice drowsy partially from the bong hit he’d done a little while ago before bed. He’d offered you the opportunity to take a hit, and you’d taken a few. It had been enough to calm your nerves thankfully.

It had been a while since you’d done a bong hit, this was probably the first time since college. It was a nice feeling though; you felt light and cozy.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

You managed to press a kiss to his heart over his t-shirt your voice just as sleepy. “I’m happy to be here.”

“This is nice…you being here. I was afraid you’d hate this couch.” Alex admitted causing you to let out a sleepy laugh the sound music to his ears.

“It’s not too bad…the guy sharing it with me makes it pretty great.” You replied pressing a kiss to Alex’s cheek.

Alex let the words fall out of his lips without any hesitation. “I wish we’d gotten together a long time ago…like maybe five or six years ago…I would have been a lot happier a lot quicker had that happened.I think my life would have turned out a lot differently had we met sooner…or at the very least I wouldn’t have been so miserable for so long.”

You gave him a sad smile able to see him through the low glow of the lamp he’d left on across the room. You reached up stroking his cheek Alex leaning into your touch as you spoke. “I wish we had too…but we probably would have been really terrible for each other.”

You continued to stroke his skin Alex so eager to lean into your touch. It had almost broke your heart the first time you realized he leaned into your touch he looking so desperate for the affection. He was affection and touch starved. It had probably been a really long long time since someone had touched him so gently. 

If Alex was going to be honest with himself he’d admit no one had ever touched him this gently before. He couldn’t get enough of it. It was like air to his lungs. He needed it so desperately bad. 

Alex furrowed his brow as he soaked in your statement fast to speak. “Why do you say that?”

You let out a small sigh deciding to just be completely honest with him. “You weren’t in a good place mentally back then and neither was I…I mean you told me yourself…a couple of stories about how bad things were with the band you were in back then…you partied a lot and you said it yourself. You were pretty self-destructive trying to live the Rockstar life with your band…you weren’t in a good place mentally at all…I was going through college six year ago. I was miserable and depressed. I could barely force myself to function long enough to get through class. I hated my life. If we’d gotten together then, we would have helped each other self-destruct. We would have destroyed each other no matter how much we like one another. We weren’t ready for each other yet.”

Alex continued to soak up your touch you still stroking his cheek the hint of stubble beginning to appear along his usually smooth skin. He knew you were right. He’d been an even bigger mess than he was now back then.

He’d known that you’d struggled through college, not wanting to be there, not wanting to even get out of bed. He wasn’t sure if the man he’d been back then would have been capable of making your world seem brighter. If anything, he would have just introduced you to all the wrong ways to cope.

“What about now? Do you think we’re terrible for each other now? Are we ready for each other now?” He dared to ask. The conversation he’d had earlier with Ryland had set off a wave of panic within Alex. His anxieties were trying to convince him that you were going to leave him all alone. His brain told him that you would decide he was just way too much to handle and you’d save yourself from him. He couldn’t be alone. He hated being alone. 

He was relieved as you spoke without any uncertainty. “Yes we’re so ready for each other. I think we’re actually pretty good for each other. We make each other happy.”

Alex let out a small sigh needing to say the words out loud, needing to vent to you. “Ryland thinks we’re moving too fast.”

“I know…Ash thinks so too.” You admitted Alex tightening his grip on you.

He spoke a look of panic crossing his features. His fear of being left alone beginning to swirl around within him. What if you agreed? What if you were scared off by how needy he was? “What do you think? Do you think we’re moving too fast?”

You pressed a kiss to Alex’s lips giving him the reassurance he was craving. “I think we’re moving at the pace we’re comfortable with. I think we’re happy. I think that’s all that matters at the end of the day.”

“Good…I’m happy you feel that way. I don’t want to lose you.” Alex admitted eagerly soaking up your kisses.

You spoke as you pulled away your hand moving from his cheek to stroke his wild curls. “You aren’t going to lose me. I mean it Alex…you make me really happy. I don’t think I’ve been this happy in a long time.”

Alex felt the smile cross his lips he nodding his head in agreement. “You make me happy too…I mean, I know you could do a lot better than me. I know I don’t like to show it, but I know my life is a mess. I try to focus on what’s going right in my life…but I know my life didn’t turn out the way I expected it to. I thought I’d be a Rockstar living in a big mansion somewhere up in the Hollywood Hills…I didn’t think I’d be well into my thirties unemployed and sleeping on a friend’s pull-out couch because I got kicked out of my old place. I didn’t think my old band would get sick of me…they said I cared too much about the band…that I was the only one who cared…I just, I failed. Nothing turned out right. My life went haywire somewhere along the way…I have been able to cope with it, but it still sucks.”

You were fast to respond to this wanting to badly to soothe him. “Sometimes our lives don’t lead us where we expect them to. You’re doing something great with this Esports thing though Alex…I mean it, you’re taking to this coaching thing really well. You’re doing more than just coaching. You’re pretty much managing the team and you’re working so hard. You could always do the music thing still…if you wanted to. No matter what you do though just know that I’m really proud of you…I think things are going to turn out great for you. Your life led you back to me. That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yeah, it’s a really good thing.” Alex replied your words soothing him.

He was tempted to shoot down the idea of starting anything with music again. That ship had long sailed away without him on board. Maybe he could try though…maybe someday. 

He couldn’t stop himself from asking as he soaked up the praise you’d so readily given him. He needed more. He needed to hear it again. “Say it again…that you’re proud of me.”

You smiled your lips pressing to his giving him just want he wanted so badly. “I’m so proud of you. No matter what happens I’m going to keep being proud of you.”

Alex spoke again not helping but to say the words his mind flashing back to one of the things Ryland had said earlier; how you’d want someone who could take care of you. “When we win Blood Match there’s going to be a cut of the money going to me…I could, I could take care of you with my share of the money…I mean I know I don’t have much to offer you right now but…”

You were fast to interrupt him before he had a chance to continue. “You have plenty to offer me. You’re good to me Alex, that means more to me than any amount of money on this planet. Rather you have a penny to your name or like a billion dollars to your name, I’m still going to be here. I’m here because I enjoy being with you. You’re already taking care of me in all the ways that matter.”

You spoke again your eyes growing heavier and heavier by the second as you tried to fight the need to sleep you pulled your hand from his hair choosing instead to wrap an arm around his waist. “I want to take care of you too. We’ll take care of each other, okay.”

“You do take care of me, you really do baby.” Alex replied his heart practically singing. You were going to take care of each other. That was all he wanted. He wanted this so badly. 

His lips pressed to your forehead a soft giggle spilling from your lips the pot and your exhaustion making you feel playful.

“I like being baby.”

Alex snorted as he watched you drift off the sleep exhaustion and the bong hit you’d taken making it easy for you to drift off.

He kept a tight grip on you needing to say the words as he allowed himself to drift off as well. “I love you [Y/N]. I know it’s crazy, but it’s true. I’m going to tell you eventually. I just hope you feel the same.”

He just hoped you felt the same. All he wanted was for you to feel the same way. That was all he needed. He just wanted to love and to be loved in return.


End file.
